You Fucking Mattter!
A lot of people are suffocated. Mainly because they cannot express themselves. They have been punished for doing so in the past. And perhaps they believe expressing themselves would be too inconvenient for others. So they absorb the inconvenience themselves. The problem with good people is they assume others carry the same obligation. They don't.
The lack of expression means you never say what you actually mean. Because it would be too harsh for the listener. You reach for convenient lies instead of raw truth. You dilute the brutality that is sometimes necessary and replace it with warmth and carefully worded arguments. This puts you in a precarious position. You withhold yourself to protect someone else, but the other person is completely unaware of this sacrifice. And they exploit your emotional availability without a second thought.
So you become the absorber of everybody's pain. Nobody gives two hoots about yours. You feel alone. Burdened. Suffocated. You get this persistent urge to flee. Anything but face the dilemma of whether to speak your mind or let it go. There is a distinction between rudeness and assertiveness. Being rude is dismissing someone entirely. You reserve that for specific occasions. Not all.
Being assertive means you have no hesitation saying the right thing. You can be polite, courteous, empathetic, but understand that these are delivery mechanisms, not the message itself. Your only allegiance is to the truth. You might be called selfish. So be it. You can stay rational, invite counter-arguments, hear them out fully. But nowhere do you sacrifice your own emotional reality for someone else's comfort.
Do not hesitate to take up space in the world. Do not cramp yourself into a corner. You fucking matter. Start living accordingly. Say the uncomfortable truth, but choose your delivery wisely. Their validation is irrelevant. You already know that validation comes at a price. That price is you. It is a poor bargain to enjoy acceptance when your sanity is what it costs.