You Don’t Need to Control Your Emotions
A lot of people struggle with managing their emotions and blame themselves for making emotional decisions rather than rational ones. But first of all, there is no such thing as a purely rational decision.
A decision that benefits you in the long term is usually considered rational and “practical.” Emotional decisions, by contrast, are often short-term because emotions are, in essence, short-term feedback loops.
We resort to willpower to control our emotions. We restrict ourselves from feeling them and punish ourselves for having them. That is a strategy designed to fail. Having emotions is not a crime; it makes you human. But governing your life based entirely on short-term emotional feedback is not a wise way to live.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by emotions in every situation, it is a sign that you should not rely on them to guide your decisions. Instead, bind yourself to systems thinking. Build clearly defined systems and mental frameworks that help you make decisions and break patterns you cannot seem to escape.
These systems must be built when you are not emotional. Work objectively on the rules that will guide your life. They should not be designed to eliminate feelings or feelings associated with people, but to enhance your life. Systems that benefit you as you progress, with clear feedback that reinforces a sense of achievement, are more likely to last and remain easy to follow.
Ask yourself simple questions: What do you seek from a situation? What is the ideal way to achieve that outcome? Should you even pursue it? Is there a better alternative? And finally, what steps do you need to follow to get there without becoming overwhelmed? You can use AI to help define those steps clearly.
The more you bind yourself to systems and predefined mental frameworks, the less you need to depend on willpower to make the right decisions. Emotions are intuitive, but your life decisions cannot be based on short-term intuitive feedback loops. They have utility, but they are not necessarily beneficial in the long run.
Once you have a clearly defined path, it becomes easier to walk it. You can experience all your emotions, but your decisions must come from somewhere else. This allows you to acknowledge those emotions and resolve them one by one.