Why People You Hate Still Win
Sometimes you find that the person you hate seems to possess a Midas touch. Whatever they touch turns to gold. They succeed in everything they do. No amount of hardship appears capable of stopping them. You resent them in silence. Then you begin to resent yourself. Envy engulfs you because your mind finds no rational explanation to counter it. You struggle to understand how some people—despite doing so many things wrong, according to you—still manage to succeed.
So you label them lucky. By the same logic, you label yourself unlucky. You begin to believe in mysterious forces working for them and against you. This, in turn, leads you to adopt random theories that serve no practical purpose in your life. But things are far simpler than we assume. They are successful because they are doing a few things right. They may not be good people, and you may be right in thinking so, but their actions are aligned in ways that bring rewards.
A person does not achieve success or failure through intentions; it is achieved through actions. Intentions, by themselves, have no bearing on outcomes. Nobody cares what you believe—unless those beliefs shape your choices. When beliefs translate into choices, they manifest as actions, and actions lead to consequences. Often, you encounter people who are outright obnoxious. It is impossible to engage with them without getting scorched. So loathing them feels natural. Some even make themselves convenient punching bags.
Yet the very attitude that repelled you also fuels their confidence. What you perceive as arrogance often functions as confidence in practice. Because they did not rationalise themselves into paralysis, they took actions that delivered higher rewards. Because they were not chronic overthinkers, they did not punish themselves endlessly for failure. Each time you see someone you dislike succeed, observe the gap between their intentions and their actions.
This is why blind hatred never works. It may grant temporary moral superiority, but it produces no tangible returns. Instead, objectively examine what you dislike about them. At the same time, ask what makes them successful—there has to be something they do well. See whether you can imbibe any of those qualities. You need not imitate them; only internalise what works. In doing so, you are forced to observe your own personality and your own flaws.
If, in your life, you encounter even twenty such people, your trajectory would look very different from where you began. More importantly, you would start hating less and observing more. After all, most of our hatred stems from our own beliefs. Anyone who stands in contrast to those beliefs becomes a recipient of our contempt. The moment you abandon the compulsion to hate and choose observation instead, you are likely to experience more luck—along with peace.