What's the Point of Talking
Opinions are easy to have. That's why everyone has one. Even those without knowledge will carry one about something. Even the one who has not read a single book will have an opinion about books. The compulsion to hold an opinion creates a bigger problem. It puts the cart before the horse. We form the opinion before the knowledge arrives.
I no longer enjoy talking to people. I don't think I will ever make any close friends. It's too soon to speak about the future, but for now this is what it seems. Surface-level relations are easy to maintain because they require no depth. No personality to expose. No vulnerability to share. They revolve around the present context, which is the environment. It begins and ends there.
Before you even begin talking to people, they have already formed an opinion about you. Especially if they see you every day. You don't need to speak. The talk about you is enough for them to generate conclusions. This is not the worst part. Even if you start talking to someone you think could be a good friend, they will have opinions to offer about everything you say.
It gets so bad that many a time you feel like you are defending your point against their opinion. This happens when they are fixated on a particular position. All your information merely feeds the opinion instead of shifting it. The art of listening requires you to sit with a thought before forming a verdict.
The rule of thumb I follow is this: if their opinion has formed before you have finished your sentence, you are talking to the wrong person. Most conversations and most people are tedious because they have no idea how to attend to the subtle nuances of another person. When you pay attention without the rush to judge, you begin to sense how someone thinks, how distinct their pattern of thinking is. It's a fascinating process if you stay with it. It's a mirror to their interior.
But people are too fucking busy telling everyone what they think about the topic. And then they wonder why I don't invest in building relationships. I can't pour more tea into a cup that's already full. If you are so packed with opinions about me that you can't let me finish a sentence before you reach for your voice, what is the point of talking at all?
I despise people with too many opinions. It means they judge too quickly and listen too loosely. I have no use for such people. They are entirely unnecessary to me. I would rather talk to an AI than to them.