Waiting For A Miracle
If I had a penny for every time someone whined about their life in front of me, I would have bought myself a car and driven away from them. Almost everybody says they want divine intervention. They want luck, or a reference, or some external push so they can build something of their own. Or get that job. Or become rich. You wish you could help them. But in almost all cases, the whiners do not need help.
People are perceptive enough to know what is right for them. They understand the smallest action that could bring a big change. And yet they continue to wallow in their sorrow. So much so that instead of focusing on effort, they focus on what is causing the problem. They convince themselves that their problem is unique, that there is no solution in the world. So they wait for a miracle to happen.
Such people are reactive in life. They wait for life to happen to them. Even when they make desperate attempts, there is no passion or vigour in those efforts. There is excessive attachment to outcomes. This attachment never allows them to question themselves. The reason is simple: elevating their efforts might bring change. Change they are not prepared for. Because a changed life also means an uncertain life.
One of the greatest tragedies is getting exactly what you want out of life. That is why people lose their minds when they win a large lottery. They wanted money, but had no idea what to do with it. They were never equipped to handle that level of uncertainty. Managing the uncertainty that comes with a new life requires courage and faith in oneself to accept it. Because change also brings new responsibilities.
In contrast, a predictable life where you are free to whine is easy to manage. There are no real uncertainties. You know what will happen, what could happen, and even the worst-case scenarios to a certain extent. You become so accustomed to a mundane life that any radical change feels impossible to imagine. So you wait for life to impose a radical change on you. Unless transformation is forced upon them by circumstances, many people will not move.
At the risk of sounding blunt, this is a cowardly way to live. I am not talking about people who are struggling after failure. That means they have tried. I am talking about people who do not move an inch, yet have the most complaints about the world and how it functions. If you are so angry at the world, why are you still stuck in the same miserable situation?
Before you rush to help someone after listening to their whining, look at what they have actually done to change their life. If you notice that they have done very little, listen to their story, reassure them that things will get better, and then move on with your life. They are doomed to remain the same. You do not need to tell them where they are wrong. They already know. You simply do not need to remind them that they are a coward.