To The Young Men
When I see young men today, I feel a visceral urge to grab them by the collar and shake them out of their delusion — the delusion of borrowing opinions just to fit in.
A lot of young men today are starved of attention, as most men were before them and most men will be after them. Men rarely get attention from anybody — certainly not romantic attention — unless they are absurdly attractive.
So instead of becoming someone who earns attention, young men today have found a shortcut. They observe what draws attention and absorb those ideas and opinions, hoping their female peers will finally notice them. It is a rude awakening when they realise that is not how women operate — opinions or no opinions.
I am nobody to speak about dating. What concerns me far more is the erosion of masculinity in these young men. Instead of becoming learned men — acquiring wisdom through struggle, pursuing their goals with relentless intent, caring for their family, wooing a woman with roses rather than rehearsed opinions — they become sponges, absorbing whatever is popular and regurgitating it in the hope that someone will love them for it.
I wish I could tell these young men: you are never loved for your opinions. Opinions merely reveal a facet of you.
You are loved for who you are, what you stand for, and what you are willing to die for. What you stand for reveals your values and ethics. What you are willing to die for exposes the depth of your conviction.
Women love that in a man. Be an unapologetic man. Master your emotional impulses. No matter who provokes you, you react only when you choose to. You act on your own terms. You say what is on your mind. You crave nobody's attention because you are complete within yourself.
You want someone. You do not need someone.
And that is only possible, my dear young men, when you have invested significantly in yourself. Cultivate manners. Learn to be kind yet ruthless in cutting out the worst rot. Learn to stand straight. Build a decent physique — get rid of the paunch. Know some goddamn history. Have heroes you genuinely admire. Play sport. Or at the very least, be passionate about one.
These things define who you are — your character, your convictions, your code. As I said, I do not want to make this about dating — but if you want a woman to be obsessed with you, ask yourself: what are you giving her to obsess over? She cannot fixate on opinions you cultivated purely to impress her. She will know instantly that you are a fraud. She does not need to commit to you to figure that out.
The mystery everyone talks about is nothing more than your refusal to react to every emotional provocation. When nothing can pull you off course, you are considered strong. You are willing to fight any battle that comes your way — but every battle is fought on your schedule, not because it was thrown at you.
And so, my dear young men, if any of you are reading this — read history. Study your heroes. Be an absolute gentleman. Never borrow opinions; that is the surest mark of a man without a spine. Learn to restrain your emotional impulses. Wear a smile on your face and keep a joke ready to break the ice.
Women love a secure man. In fact, everyone loves a secure man. A man who believes he is enough, yet strives constantly to be better, will eventually become more than enough for anyone. Women should not be your destination. The destination is to become the finest version of yourself within your world. A good woman is simply your partner on that journey.