The Weight Of Worries
Worrying is a natural human trait; we are almost never without it. We are either worrying about something we must do or something done to us. It’s a clear sign that something remains unresolved. The anticipation of that pending act becomes our worry and stays with us until the matter is conclusively settled.
We worry either about an unfinished task or an anticipated outcome. People who suffer from anxiety often live in constant expectation of worst-case scenarios in every situation. This anticipation—one that rarely materialises—keeps them on edge, elevates cortisol, and sometimes triggers panic attacks.
If all our worries revolve around pending matters, it is sensible to divide them into two categories: what we can control and what we cannot. For things that fall within our control and within the realm of possibility, act on them. Take the necessary steps so you know you are doing something rather than stalling. For the uncontrollable—events you are awaiting but cannot influence—divide the anticipated outcome into two categories: the worst case and the most probable case.
If your loved one is in the operation theatre, it is natural to feel anxious. Ask yourself: what is the worst that could happen? They could die. Then ask: is that the most probable outcome? In most situations, the answer is no. I’ve taken the most extreme example deliberately, because anxious people usually avoid speaking about death; naming it removes the elephant from the room.
For mundane events like job interviews or potential layoffs, you can assign probabilities, consider worst-case scenarios, and even prepare for both outcomes—yet something entirely unexpected can still occur. This reminds us that there will always be events outside our control and beyond even the most reasonable probability models—the black swan. Accept that not everything can be predicted or planned. Some things must simply be taken as they are. They may leave you distressed or miserable, and you have every right to feel that way, but you will still have to live through them.
Not everything in life can be planned, because not everything needs planning. The world is more dynamic than we imagine. Circumstances can go against us just as often as they can work in our favour. In both cases, uncertainty is embedded in the outcome. We can prepare for it, or we can accept it. That is why surrendering to the possibility of extreme uncertainty is both wise and, in a sense, spiritual. Bow to the divine and cultivate the strength needed for deeply unpredictable events.
Categorise your worries into the controllable and the uncontrollable. Identify the most probable outcome for what lies outside your control. Gather courage for what exceeds the boundaries of your imagination. You must surrender to the fact that you are human and therefore cannot manage every possible scenario. Worst cases can happen. You can prepare for them, but you cannot completely escape them.
When you know the probabilities, there is no point in worrying about the outcome. When you have acceptance and courage toward life’s uncertainty, worries do not linger in your mind for long. Do not let worry consume your good days or your better moods. Pray for strength, and do not let your mind turn into its own tormentor.