The Weight Of Some Words
It’s tempting to say something mean yet funny when the occasion seems fitting. Resist it. When you say something hurtful to someone — even in jest, even in lighter moments — you won’t have to live with those words. The other person will.
One could argue that “they’re just words,” but that misses the point entirely. What those words might trigger in someone’s mind — something that could keep them awake all night, something that rekindles old pain — becomes your responsibility, even when you don’t want it to be.
I firmly believe that knowing what to say and when to say it is an admirable trait. I consider it a sign of intelligence, because it requires identifying not just the right approach, but also reading the person’s mood, tolerance, and vulnerabilities. The opposite is a purely animalistic response — demanding empathy from the world while making excuses when it’s your turn to give it.
What about speaking to someone who has hurt you in the past? Then it becomes even more crucial not to deliver hurt in return. You can be ruthless and ignore their existence. You can put your foot down, be assertive, even insult them back with equal spirit — but never in ways that exploit their vulnerabilities.
There’s a thin line between healthy banter and reminding someone why they’re lonely, why their parents divorced, or why no one likes them. Comments like these have the potential to give someone sleepless nights. Avoid them at all costs, even if the person is an asshole. You don’t have to be one in return. Cruelty isn’t a compliment you’re obligated to return.