The Virtue Of Being Selfish
People don’t usually act out of pure goodness. That happens only when they are in the mood for charity, when some misery awakens their sense of benevolence. In those moments, they appear “good” and “pure.” But if you strip away the hierarchy, if you treat the person you’re helping as your equal, that feeling of benevolence often vanishes. The mind no longer frames it as charity but as opportunity.
We are deeply competitive creatures, especially in environments where competition is rewarded. In such contexts, there’s little incentive to be “nice.” The truth is, people are naturally selfish. And by “people,” I include myself. We can hardly think beyond our own wants, needs, and suffering. Even in grief, when mourning someone’s death, we are not so much lamenting their absence as we are our own loss.
At times, someone else’s motives clash with our own, and it feels as though they are out to harm us. But more often, they are simply pursuing their own interests. One could debate the ethics behind these selfish drives, but in their mind, they are merely looking after themselves.
Selfishness, however, does not necessarily mean malice. It is a mistake, often rooted in religious or moral teachings, to assume that selfishness always breeds harm. In reality, it simply means prioritizing your own well-being. You may still care for others, but you begin with yourself. And when your mind is stable, you are more capable of caring for others. This is a vital perspective to keep in mind when dealing with people.
Whenever you are uncertain about someone’s behavior, examine their motives. Assume they are selfish, step into their shoes, and ask: What would be the most self-serving action for them? This shift in perspective reveals the power of incentives — the silent forces shaping every choice.
Above all, remember that selfishness is not inherently bad. To take care of others, you must first take care of yourself. If a warrior neglects his health, how can he protect his unit? If a mother neglects her well-being, how can she care for her children? Self-preservation is not opposed to compassion, it is the foundation of it.