The Promises We Make Under Emotions
We are all guilty of making promises during heightened emotional phases. When we are angry and feel betrayed. When we are drunk and feel jubilant. When we are excessively happy with someone.
But as days pass, we no longer feel the same about those promises. We begin to analyze them too deeply. We almost regret making them, and slowly start looking for ways to escape the commitment.
The reason is simple. Emotional states are high in intensity but low in consistency. Emotions are fickle by nature. They ebb and recede like ocean tides. When the tide is high, everything feels intense.
It is emotion that drives this intensity. It makes you believe you can conquer the world or seek revenge. Sometimes alcohol amplifies it. But you cannot rely on something that is inherently unstable. That is why people say never make promises when you are angry. They say it because they know such states are unreliable.
At the same time, without intensity you will never have the drive required to fulfill any promise or commitment. To achieve anything worthy, you need momentum, and emotional intensity often unlocks that drive.
This is precisely why resolutions fail. People sign up for yearly gym memberships but struggle to remain consistent even for a month. The promise was made in a heightened emotional state. When the intensity fades, so does the drive to honor the resolution.
A more effective approach is to use emotional intensity to build a concrete plan with clear action items. You made a promise, and emotion is pushing you toward long-term commitment. The real question is how you will execute it.
Force yourself to create a 30 day action plan. Define exactly what you will do each day. If it is about going to the gym, decide when you will go, how you will make time, and how you will reduce friction. These small decisions turn resolutions into habits.
Then you only need discipline for a short period, until those habits become part of your identity. Discipline is required only at the beginning. After that, it becomes muscle memory. It becomes who you are. People are far more likely to stay fit once they start seeing themselves as fit.
The resolution could be anything. Ending a relationship. Writing a novel. Practicing daily essays. Upskilling. Applying for jobs. Sending cold emails. We say many things under heightened emotions. What matters is using that state to create a concrete plan that leads to real outcomes.
A solid plan removes overthinking from your life. You no longer waste energy deciding what to do each day. You already leveraged your emotional state and mapped out the next 30 days. All that remains is execution.
We have quietly accepted that promises made in emotional states are unreliable. But there is a way to harness those states and build a better life. Every form of energy is useful if you know how to channel it.