The People Who Bet on You
All our lives, we try to figure out the best possible way to live. We are constantly caught in the conundrum of whether to betray a friend to rise to the top or to remain true to our ethics. We struggle to answer whether being ethical has any real benefit at all.
There is no divine reward for being ethical throughout your life. There is no afterlife where you will be judged by how you lived, how many people you helped, or how much love you spread. These are religious notions handed down through generations for the good of society.
Game theory revolutionised our thinking. The prisoner’s dilemma highlighted that betrayal can often be the stronger strategy. Tit for tat is supposedly the right way to play the game of life. What they never told you is that game theory works only when everyone’s responses are sufficiently predictable for you to calculate the possible outcomes and determine the optimal strategy—the point of equilibrium. Reality doesn’t work that way.
So does that mean ethical living is not a viable strategy? That it is okay to betray a friend? Absolutely not.
Ethics build your reputation. You are known by what you refuse to engage in. They tell the world where you draw the line, and how far you are unwilling to stoop. You are known by the boundaries you maintain. Reputation is what emerges when people know those boundaries—when they know what you would never do.
That reputation can open more doors for you than any strategic game ever could. Never backstab a friend is, and will remain, an absolutely good strategy. Love someone with all your heart, even if you fail at it. So be it. This is how a good life is lived. Once you start living this way, you will attract people who are more willing to bet on you.
Imagine having people in your life who would bet on your goodness and your capabilities. What better reference could there be in the world? Earning people’s trust is more valuable than any promotion or material benefit you could ever gain. This is why having ethics is always rewarding in the long term.
No strategy can ever compete with this.