The Pat On The Back
Every time you do something good, every time you build something on your own, every time you learn a new skill, you want to share it with someone. Your family, your partner, your friends. And every time, their lukewarm reactions leave you deflated.
You are still the child seeking a pat on the back after showing his parents a trick. They didn't give two hoots and looked away. The void inside you never got filled. You grew up, passed through different phases over the years, but the void stayed. Only one thing could ever fill it: the attention you craved from someone. The proverbial pat on the back.
Every time you show someone your hobbies, your work or your skills, you are seeking that pat on the back. Seeking feedback isn't wrong. But this isn't feedback. You want them to like what you did. That longing causes most of the pain, because it is the one thing others can never see in you. The one being rejected may look like an adult, but deep inside he is still a child who just wants someone to appreciate his existence.
People aren't going to appreciate your existence. They are too busy craving someone to appreciate theirs. You will always have to carry this burden alone. You will have to be your own biggest cheerleader. You will have to reward yourself for finishing that book or completing that sprint you always dreamt of. At some point, you will have to stop wanting the pat on the back. It is never going to come. And if it ever does, it will come with conditions attached.
I know it hurts like a bitch, but such is life. You never get the ideal. Human psychology depends too heavily on other people being less fucked up for you to grow up sane and unscarred.
Here is the most important thing of all. When a child comes running up to you, beaming, to show you a drawing he made or some silly thing he built with his crayons, give him your time. Not just a pat on the back, but your undivided attention. He should not grow up believing he was never appreciated. Whenever he feels uncared for, let him remember you as the exception.
Because these exceptions are what convince him there is still goodness in this world. The same holds true for adults. Appreciate others generously, even when they don't return the favour. Don't make everything a transaction. Give the world what was denied to you. A little extra love.