The Love You Want Doesn't Exist
Nobody will love you the way you want to be loved. Everybody wants to be loved in a specific way. You want the other to be passionate about you. You want them to be curious about you, to want to know everything about you, but without being nosy. They should worship the ground you walk on. Such a love is impossible because it demands a paradox be fulfilled.
Nobody knows you the way you truly are. The way you are can only be manifested through someone else's lens: the people you have met, the people who have known you the longest. The idea of self doesn't exist when you are alone. Alone, there is no morality, no individual identity. You cannot see yourself the way others do. You can only feel what you want. That is the only lens available to you.
If the idea of self is always borrowed, from what others think of you, from what you want others to think of you, then nobody can truly know you. If you believe someone knows you well, that only means it's the version you consider most accurate. It might not be the most accurate version. The truest version can never be verified.
So everybody falls in love with the version they get to see. They see the version you have chosen to showcase, the version you feel is appropriate, or the version meant for a particular audience. This version might exist as a consequence of your insecurities. Or it might be the version you have sanitised for public approval.
People aren't always obsessed with the other person, unless that other person makes them feel good about themselves. Which effectively means everybody is in love with themselves to begin with, even the ones who claim to hate themselves. Even if someone's sense of self is fucked up, they still love the other person based on how that person makes them feel. It's safe to say people's first priority is themselves. That holds true for you too. Even you want the other person to fall madly in love with you first, before you respond.
It gets murkier when the version you have presented, the version they have fallen for, isn't the most authentic one but a fabrication, a presentable version built so people would accept you. When what you wanted, to be accepted, actually happens, you don't know the next step. So you continue with the fabricated version, but you cannot carry it forever. There is an end to every lie.
This traps you in a spiral: rejection, then identity crisis, then building a new identity to attract someone new. You have to accept that people will never love you the way you want them to. There is no passionate love in this world unless you too make someone feel good about themselves. All "passionate" love exists temporarily, until the identities and wants are resolved. After that, it becomes a matter of what you bring to the table.
It's not the most romantic view, but it's the one closest to reality. It's far better to accept that there will always be some ache inside you to be loved for who you are. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. Maybe you have a loving partner to whom you can confess your needs, but those needs have to be specific, and you must remember that needs flow both ways.
In order to be loved for who you are, you also need to love someone for who they are. Unless you are prepared for that, don't even bother to demand it.