The Human Behind The Ideology
We judge people by the opinions they express. That is the only window we have through which we can glimpse someone’s psyche. We label people as left or right, conservative or liberal, and then adjust our attitude toward them based on those labels. The labels themselves are not important. What matters is the ability to have an intellectual debate—one where we listen as much as we speak. That isn’t happening. Not even on social media, where we are quite literally forced to read words.
It’s not just that we are quick to judge. That is a problem, but not the primary one. It comes later. The first struggle is the urge to label someone based on their political leanings, and then treat them according to that label. Out of mutual dependency and basic social decency, we sometimes restrain ourselves in real life. On social media, that restraint disappears. We are far less tolerant.
However, there is another side that deserves attention. Sometimes people do not accept an ideology because they truly believe in it. They accept it because they felt comfortable within it. That comfort may come from a facet of the ideology that embraced them, or from a person who made them feel seen and important. When we like someone, it is natural to absorb their beliefs as well. We do this to avoid loneliness, to avoid isolation, to avoid being left behind.
Some people choose an ideology simply because they were hurt. Human beings are complex creatures, yet some things remain simple—love, for instance. People believe in stories that mirror their lived reality, stories that help them navigate the world. When you realise someone is deeply set in their ways, when you see rigidity instead of curiosity, drop the intellectual arguments and turn to compassion instead. Try to understand why they believe what they believe.
One approach that has worked well for me is getting personal—not through attacks, but through genuine curiosity. Knowing who they are. What makes them happy. What makes them lonely. What affects them deeply. What has shaped them. What has wounded them. When you reach this level of understanding, you often realise that winning the debate was never the point.
You begin to see that winning debates does not hold a candle to knowing someone. Win their hearts instead. Sometimes it does not matter which ideology they follow. They are human. They are not criminals. And by virtue of that alone, they deserve compassion—or at the very least, an ear willing to listen to their pain.