The Freedom of Knowing They'll Leave
We want to be desired by everyone we meet. This puts us in constant conflict with other people and with our own inner nature. It is impossible to be liked by everyone. Ninety five percent of the people you meet in life will eventually disappear from it. The person you are closest to today will, at some point, no longer be your closest confidant. Such is the nature of life. It is cyclical.
This cyclical nature, coupled with our inability to foresee the future, always tricks us into believing the present will remain permanent, that we can impose a sense of permanency on the things we love right now. Only about five percent of what exists in the present will likely carry forward into the future, and even that is uncertain. For most people, it amounts to a couple of individuals, that's it.
This sounds nihilistic, but it's actually a liberating realization. When you know that what you're experiencing is temporary, that it won't last beyond a few days or months or years, wouldn't you want to savor it a little more? There is another side to this too. You can stop taking things personally. If you're eventually going to move on from these people, nothing they do should weigh on you.
You're free to be courteous toward them. You can show your best behavior. You can afford to be tolerant because it's temporary. By tolerance I don't mean enduring disrespect or insults without cause. You can still set boundaries, but you don't need to fight tooth and nail to settle a score. That score won't matter anyway after a few days or months.
But then what about the five percent who become lifelong friends? That's precisely why courtesy matters. There's always a possibility that certain people will be the exception to this rule. There are no obvious signs, except that you'll naturally find yourself sharing more with them. The conversation, you'll notice, flows more easily. You'll feel lighter after talking to them. The compatibility will be instant.
Liking someone and sharing genuine rapport with them are two different things. You might be infatuated with a person, but if your wavelengths don't align, there's little hope of a real connection. This is also why it's important never to force a connection with anyone. Either wait for the rapport to develop naturally, or pay attention to the quality of your conversations.
If neither happens, you know you're dealing with the ninety five percent probability zone. Rather than feeling disheartened, enjoy the moment, lower your expectations, and don't take things too personally. After all, these are people you'll most likely never see again.