The Craving For Validation

02 Jan, 2026

People crave external validation when they do not feel worthy from within. When internal self-worth erodes to the point where the mind begins seeking external proof—any proof—that one is not entirely worthless, people resort to things they otherwise would not, had they been in the right frame of mind. No amount of freedom can make a woman lose her dignity or a man his self-respect—except when they no longer feel either from within.

The journey we all crave is not upward toward heaven, but inward—toward the place where we meet our soul. All your biases, beliefs, and notions of worth reside in your mind. They are shaped by your experiences and, more importantly, by how you interpreted those experiences.

Someone who is repeatedly told they are useless often grows up believing it. To counter that belief, they may indulge in activities that affirm they are not useless. But when actions are driven purely by the need for affirmation, discretion about the nature of those actions disappears. This is how one slips into moral depravity. That is why people end up doing things neither the world approves of nor their soul can accept. Such actions are then justified through reason, rooted in past injustice and mistreatment.

The sole objective of therapy is to bring awareness to the reasons you indulge in things you know you should not. That is why people experience mental breakdowns. The truth feels harsh only when you have been running from it for too long. It breaks you because avoidance has exhausted you. Surrender brings relief.

Every time you tell yourself that you are not good enough, ask: What is the evidence? For every harsh thing that was said to you in the past, ask whether there is any proof of it. Is looking different the same as being ugly? If so, why do people deemed “ugly” still find partners? Why do even criminals have traditional wives?

You must ask the right questions and examine your biases and beliefs through the lens of objectivity. Only then will you be free from the craving for external validation. This freedom does not require an external battle—it demands an internal one.