Stop Thinking In Hierarchies
How many times have we dismissed people as unworthy of our attention? How many times have we judged someone’s title before their character? Most people adjust their behavior based on the perceived importance of whoever stands before them. If they consider the person important, they gravitate toward politeness, courtesy, and kinder treatment. If not, their behavior shifts.
I’m not suggesting that the kinder version is fake. Both behaviors come from the same person and are equally genuine. What differs is the level of tolerance we choose to exhibit. We imply that we can afford to offend one category of people over another — that one group’s opinion matters more than another’s.
This naturally creates a hierarchy in our minds: one person is higher than another. We stop seeing people for who they are and instead see only what they represent or how important they seem from our perspective. This pattern initiates a cycle of pain where one class of people begins believing they’re unworthy because they’re insignificant in the hierarchy. Meanwhile, those exhibiting such behavior justify it by claiming that people don’t respect them either.
But people aren’t divided into hierarchies. People are people. They’re remarkably alike when you hear their stories and pay attention to their motivations. They may be biased or have different behavioral quirks, but they’re fundamentally human — all racing to become successful. It’s a tragedy that a person must climb the ladder before earning basic courtesy from a fellow human being.
It’s not about how you treat the waiter. It’s about whether you see a person doing their job or “a waiter” whom you must remind yourself to be kind to. Because forced kindness is also false — you’re still thinking in hierarchical terms, positioning yourself as superior but choosing to exhibit kindness because it’s the “right” behavior. You want credit for doing the morally correct thing.
Stop thinking in hierarchies. Every person you meet deserves courtesy — not because it’s morally right, but because that’s simply how you should behave. Be forgiving because everyone has the right to make mistakes. Nobody wakes up planning to ruin someone’s life. Talk to people, listen to their stories, and treat them as if they’re the most important person in that moment.
Kindness is not about hierarchy. Be kind because that’s the most human way to live.