Separate Opinions From The Speaker
We don’t listen to opinions; we listen to the person sharing the opinion. This is why we often feel that when we express an opinion, nobody pays attention—but when the same opinion appears in a YouTube video, everyone seems to love it. It’s not because the opinion suddenly became better. It’s because people rarely care about the opinion itself. Humans are not objective; they focus on the person delivering the opinion. This also doesn’t mean you are hated. It simply means you lack perceived validity in the eyes of the listener.
We need to separate the opinion from the speaker. That is the only way to bring true objectivity into our lives. Regardless of how much we dislike the person. Regardless of how highly we think of them. We must assess opinions solely on their own merit, not on the merit of the speaker. When we do this, we allow a continuous flow of feedback. If you surround yourself only with people who like you, you miss out on harsh feedback—feedback that often comes from those who don’t like you as much. But when you focus on the person instead of the feedback, you lose access to that insight altogether.
This idea, however, is controversial for some. If someone is accused of a serious crime—murder, or sexual harassment—would you take their opinion seriously? I can already imagine the vehement no forming in your mind. This creates a moral crisis for those who believe feedback can come from anywhere. After all, as a fellow human, you must draw a line somewhere. The short answer is this: if an opinion comes your way, analyse it on its merit and ignore the person behind it.
Let me clarify. You are not actively collecting opinions—that would be seeking validation. You are simply living your life and meeting people. But when an opinion or feedback comes your way, your first responsibility is to assess it independently, and then choose your response based on the context, the place, and the person. If you feel it doesn’t deserve a response, you may choose silence. But do not reject something outright without applying discretion.
Your ultimate objective is not to establish moral standards for the world. It is to live a meaningful life. To do that, you need feedback on your actions, your biases, and your flaws—wherever it may come from. Morality matters only when you decide whether to engage with someone or remain connected to them. Merely listening to an opinion that concerns you changes nothing. And remember: you always retain the power to reject the feedback.
One must learn to separate opinions from the speaker—especially when you already have the freedom to reject what is irrelevant. This applies equally to people cancelled by the internet and to relatives who make you miserable. Ask yourself whether you are ignoring them because you dislike what they say, or because you dislike them altogether. Don’t close the door on objectivity.