Self Pity Is A Dead End
Self-pity is addictive. Licking your own wounds feels good. For a while, there is no burden. No responsibility. No accountability. You have no compulsion to act. You can weep over your bad luck. Or you can blame somebody for your condition. If you cannot find anybody, you can always blame your circumstances. Some people go a step further and blame the government. Worse, they even blame their childhood trauma.
These things are tempting. Because they free you from the burden of finding a solution. This is a comfortable suffering for a lot of people. Doing something requires actual effort. It doesn't allow you any sympathy. If something goes wrong, you are responsible for it. You might not be responsible for why it happened, but now that it has, the responsibility of how you choose to handle it is entirely yours.
This is not a comfortable feeling for many. But it becomes the most comforting feeling once you internalise it. For any problem, your first instinct must never be to find the culprit. It must be to figure out how you fix it. This is simple to understand but the hardest to embrace. I say self-pity is addictive because people would rather lie in bed and cry over their fate. Of course, there will always be reasons. There may well be people who have hurt you. Circumstances that went against you. But now what?
Are you going to sit and wallow in your grief? Or will you get up and do something about it? If the goal is to do something about it, then why not start thinking in that direction already? Self-pity has served no purpose for anybody. It won't get you laid. It will not get you new friends. It will certainly not get you love if you are a man. It will only make you appear vulnerable. And vulnerability in a man is despised.
Beyond that, even if you receive the sympathy you are seeking, what do you think it does to you? Your mind will give up on the idea of finding solutions, because garnering sympathy is easier than that. Train yourself to always think from the perspective of solutions. Every time you are stuck somewhere, ask yourself: what is the ideal outcome here? What paths are theoretically available to you? Pick your next course of action based on a clear-eyed analysis of the pros and cons.
A solution-oriented mind will earn you more respect than sympathy ever could. People will want to be around you. Because everybody wants to be with someone who can help make their life better. Things can and will go wrong, no matter what you do. So it is a far better strategy to always be prepared to find solutions. Wallowing can wait. First, solve the damn problem.