Piss Off A Few People
It’s good to piss off a few people in life. That means you have values you are willing to defend. When you are wired differently from the crowd, and you will know it, people will dislike you with vehemence. They want you to bend, conform to their will, surrender to their version of reality. And if you refuse to bend despite all the pressure and the fear of isolation, then you have truly arrived in life.
When you look at someone and feel no inclination to impress them. When you are invited into a group that hates another group you do not hate, and you refuse to bitch about others just to remain part of it. When you don’t give a shit whether they talk about you or think highly of you. Then, my friend, you are wired differently.
Most people care too much about opinions, forgetting that opinions are literally a dime a dozen. It’s not just that everyone has them, but that everyone keeps changing them based on context. They will most likely forget their previous stance just to adopt a new one.
Uniqueness is rarely tolerated. Sovereignty in a man is rarely tolerated. Because a sovereign man is an independent man. He depends on no one. He tolerates no one beyond the boundaries of courtesy. He is sufficient unto himself. He is kind but not naive. He is humble but does not bend the knee. He is polite but will not tolerate insults. He will enjoy your company, but will also be ready to walk out if it comes to that.
It’s easy to read this and feel that you possess these qualities, but it is extremely difficult. It only comes from the exhaustion of being part of a group, trying to please people, becoming the butt of every joke. You need to be disgusted enough with these patterns to resist their pull.
Imagine getting all the female attention you ever wanted, but the cost is conformity. Gossip. Betraying someone you believe is a good person. For most men, it is instinctive to chase female attention because it feels good to be liked by a beautiful woman. You can tell yourself a story that you can maintain both. And maybe you can. But you have still betrayed yourself.
Betraying yourself is a greater crime, in my dictionary, than any other moral failing. One should never worry about pissing a few people off. When you take a stand for your values, people eventually bend. If you refuse to surrender to the need for belonging, you demonstrate strength. Weak people will eventually gravitate toward you. They are not going to suddenly grow a spine.
So cultivate moral standards for yourself. And take a stand. If you have a spine, show it. A man who does not mind standing alone is a man who possesses all the strength in the world.