Own Your Embarrassments
Embarrassment is the emotion we all remember, and the one we all want to escape. Yet it lingers. Embarrassment signals that we did something we shouldn’t have. Maybe we lied and got caught. Maybe we attempted a romantic gesture and botched it. Maybe we tried to be someone outside the boundaries of our nature and realized too late it was a mistake. In many ways, embarrassment is a form of regret. At its root, it stems from two causes: seeking validation or seeking a specific outcome.
Seeking validation is the most common. We want to appear as someone else, to project an image, to be thought of in a way that doesn’t align with who we truly are. Embarrassment arrives when events don’t unfold in our favor. This type is largely avoidable. The antidote is to own your personality. You are who you are. Improvement is possible, but perfection is not. You will make silly mistakes. You will look foolish at times. You cannot control people’s perceptions, at least not always. It is far better to embrace your humanity, with all its flaws, than to constantly chase approval.
The second kind of embarrassment arises when we seek a specific outcome. For instance, you might fight with your father to start a business, only to later discover he was right and you were unprepared. This is the embarrassment of failure. But unlike the first kind, it carries growth. It forces you to confront reality, accept defeat, and move on. Such experiences reshape and strengthen your character.
The goal in life is to fail in ways that transform you, not in ways that isolate you. Don’t seek validation. Seek outcomes that expand your potential. The only antidote to embarrassment is exposure: to place yourself in these situations repeatedly. In time, they turn into the best stories, especially when you finally succeed.