Overthinking: When Thoughts Hold You Hostage

01 Dec, 2025

If you struggle with overthinking, you have my full sympathies. I have lived through phases where a single thought stays lodged in the mind for days, so stubborn and intrusive that you wish you could pay any price just to be free of it. It disturbs your sleep, affects your appetite, clouds the book you’re reading, and becomes unbearable in silence or during the empty stretches of the day. It never stops.

So when you say you are an overthinker, I know exactly what that means. I know what it feels like to be consumed by a thought, an imaginary conversation, a person, or a worry that eventually leaves you hollow. I know what it means to feel mentally fatigued and utterly drained, and yet your mind refuses to stop. You begin to wonder: if your whole body feels exhausted and you resist the thought with everything you have, why does your mind still cling to that desire or fear?

The uncomfortable truth is that we secretly enjoy it. No matter how tired we feel, those imaginary conversations offer us some form of vindication or validation—depending on whether the scenario is pleasant or painful. Your mind, though it feels like an enemy, is actually catering to what you subconsciously crave. So the only way to break the cycle is to reprogram the subconscious.

You must first rationalise your emotions. Examine the “why” behind every recurring thought or worry. Dig until you uncover what you are seeking from the world or from that person. Then give your subconscious a new mental image of who you are. Tell yourself who you want to become—and behave as if you already are. I realised I was obsessing over what was happening in my life instead of who I wanted to be in my life.

So I began reminding myself who I am. I am an investor who studies price behaviour to spot multibaggers. I am a fund manager. I am a writer who creates powerful stories filled with moral conflict and deep characterisation. I have a wonderful wife who deserves all the playful, imaginative conversations my mind can conjure. And I repeated this to myself, again and again.

You must construct an identity in your mind—a self-image—and live that identity. Not imagine it. Not “want” it. But “have” it and “be” it. You either have or you are. Every time your mind tries to weaken that image with a stray thought, remind yourself who you are. Affirm it firmly in your head, and recognise that getting lost in pointless thoughts is sheer foolishness.

Rationalise the thought, then replace it with a stronger self-image. The more you repeat this, the more your mind begins to accept that this is what you truly want, because you are constantly visualising and affirming it. If your mind can flood you with imaginary worries and meaningless conversations, then you can flood it with better imagery and better messages.

Fool yourself into believing you are great, and perhaps that very foolishness will steer you toward greatness.