Never Accept Pity
I was having a conversation with a friend about the nature of good work in the world, and he immediately pulled out his phone to show pictures of his good deeds. He often visits an orphanage to donate essential items and does this with his friends to increase the impact. My eyes wandered to the children, smiling as they received charity from strangers.
What thoughts must race through their minds? How do they feel knowing they will never truly own anything in the world unless life drastically changes for them through opportunities and rewards? They must realize their happiness depends on someone else's generosity. The clothes they wear aren’t theirs but belong to someone who grew tired of those same old garments, leading their parents to donate them instead of discarding them.
I know these emotions well because I’ve felt them. I endured years of inner turmoil—not because I grew up in an orphanage, but in a perfectly normal family where charity played a significant role in upbringing. Over time, I’ve purchased numerous luxury products, most of which I rarely use. I often wonder: Did I buy them because I wanted to, or was I running from the memory of those pitiful eyes? Is this why people who rise through the ranks end up playing status games? Are they too running from pity?
I dislike pity because it creates a hierarchy among humans. One is undeniably beneath the other, granting the benevolent a license for certain vices and behaviors that must be tolerated because of their generosity. Rarely does charity happen behind closed doors or anonymously, because, in my view, the point of charity is to make the giver feel good about themselves.
For a child growing up in an orphanage or under conditions where they have never truly owned anything—not even their attitude or preferences—what does that do to their personality, self-esteem, or ego? In such an upbringing, where likes and dislikes aren’t yours to own, what kind of values can you develop, and how do you cultivate your personality? It would be easy for such people to become targets of bullying.
That’s the primary reason I despise pity. I wouldn’t mind people disliking me for being cocky, arrogant, or even foolish, but I would never accept pity—not even on my deathbed. I don’t mind losing in life, for I’ve been on the losing side enough times. But I would always choose suffering over pity because suffering molds you into a stronger person, while pity destroys you.
You should reject charity whenever you can because it can erode your sense of self. Reject every ounce of it—even sympathy. If you’ve been on the receiving end of it for years, be grateful you survived and acknowledge that God helped you in many ways. But now is the time to build your personality. Be grateful in your pursuit, humble in your demeanor, but never kneel. Always strive to earn the envy of the world. The more they hate you, the more you have rejected their hierarchy.