Misery Is A Choice
There are people in your life who are miserable no matter what happens to them. Regardless of how their life unfolds, they will always find something to be upset about. This isn't about chronic complaining itself, though that's the only visible sign of it, it's what makes someone a chronic complainer underneath.
Everybody goes through struggles in life. Some are internal, where you're wrestling with your own psychology, trying to understand yourself better, trying to correct behavioural quirks. Others are external, where the challenges stem from things outside your control. But the suffering itself is generated by how you react internally to external events.
That suffering is therefore perpetual, because there will always be tension between external events and the internal lens that interprets them. How you choose to handle that suffering determines whether you remain at peace or stay perpetually aggrieved. That's why misery is called a choice. It isn't really about what happens to you, since that's barely in your control anyway. Life is random, so something will always happen to you. But how you choose to handle that suffering is always, and I mean always, a choice.
You might think not everything can be managed, and you'd be right. If someone died, you cannot manage your grief, and the goal was never to manage it. The goal is to keep it from dictating the next chapter of your life. Grieve all you want. Suffer all you want. Just don't let that suffering fester into a wound that never heals. Being hurt in one relationship doesn't mean you get to conclude that all women are bad.
Some people handle life's challenges so well that they barely notice how far they've come. They interpret every hardship as an internal struggle. They reframe it as a puzzle to solve or a signal to find another way forward. They grieve, but they always know what needs to happen next. Their focus stays fixed on the larger goal, so while you might catch them down for a day, you'll never see them complain about it day after day. That's because the internalising of suffering is already underway.
That is the ultimate hack for getting through hard situations: internalise everything. Accept that some things lie outside your control, that you can't prepare for them in advance, only plan your response once they've happened. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, but only after identifying them and building a plan to avoid repeating them. Then figure out how to fix the mess and move on. That's the only way to get through life.
The goal isn't to live in denial or deny yourself moments of grief. You have every right to feel that. Just don't let it reshape your entire worldview. Don't turn into someone who's always bickering, always hunting for the next thing to complain about.