How To Deal With Hate?
There comes a time in everybody's life when you have to deal with hate. The intense loathing that someone has reserved exclusively for you. You can intuitively sense it because it reflects in every fibre of their being and every one of their mannerisms towards you. The way they speak to you, the way they direct their jokes at you, the sheer bitterness that permeates everything they do in relation to you.
It manifests in bullying, the subtle jibes, the feigned camaraderie that masks a deep resentment within. The gossip they stoke in the minds of others about you. It becomes apparent that your very presence in the vicinity enrages them.
You can sense it but you cannot call it out. Because you also know that if you did, they would dismiss it as a joke and use your reaction to further demean you. So you absorb it in silence. Burning from within because you are desperate to answer them in their own currency. But your responses never land the same way, which frustrates you further.
The only way to deal with such casual hatred is to be indifferent towards it. The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy. The person who harbours hatred for you and makes no effort to conceal it through hostile mannerisms is also revealing something about their character. That they are emotional. Extreme fondness is an emotion and so is extreme loathing.
Once you recognise that the other person is having an emotional reaction towards you, and if you are certain that the feeling is mutual, the wisest course of action is absolute indifference. And I mean complete indifference towards every attempt of theirs. Take everything in stride as if nothing unsettles you. As if their jokes fly right past you. As if their mannerisms do not even register.
Such behaviour is often a sign that they want a reaction out of you. Why else would they go out of their way to display their hatred so openly? You can sense it because your internal radar picks up warmth and resentment from a distance. They want a reaction out of you, so starve them of it. Conduct yourself as though nothing touches you. Their existence holds no relevance in your life.
Treat people with warmth and genuine courtesy. Including them. Do not mirror the hostility they direct at you. Do not let the bitterness you feel within seep through. Treat them with civility but remain indifferent to their emotions, their needs, their resentment and their attempts to provoke a reaction from you.
It is good for your own mental health. What you choose to react to becomes significant in your mind. Reaction stirs emotion, and emotion shapes your thinking, which in turn colours your entire mindset. So resist the impulse to react or confront. It will be difficult in the beginning but it will reveal you as the steadier one and them as the irrational one. This is precisely what you want. Would you lose any sleep if a stranger on the road cursed at you? No, because it does not stay in your mind. They do not matter. You are indifferent towards them. And you must carry that same attitude towards those who hate you.
The strongest person is the one who needs no validation from anyone. Someone who does not mind walking alone. Who remains indifferent to things that hold no meaning for them. Who chooses when to react and what to react to. It is this disposition that will make you a leader and draw even more hatred in the process. But that will not matter, because you will not lose a moment's sleep over it.