How to Be More Likable
How do you become more likable? It’s simpler than you think. Genuinely becoming someone people like is a subject unto itself. It takes real effort. Real self-improvement. Real personal growth. And a whole lot of spine to stand firm in your values.
But there is a simpler approach you can adopt: never say anything that contradicts people. Easier said than done. People seem to take offence at the smallest things these days. So you have to learn which opinions are likely to rub them the wrong way. But before you express an opinion, you need to pay attention to them. Cultivate the habit of being a good listener. As you listen to their stories, learn to ask probing questions without being nosy. This will keep them talking.
Probing is a skill. The difference between being nosy and probing is simple: being nosy requires people to share personal information, while probing encourages them to elaborate on their stories. Being nosy serves your curiosity; probing serves their satisfaction. Be a good listener and ask probing questions. This will keep the conversation going. When it’s your turn to speak, give a generic answer and move on to another topic.
This works in ninety per cent of cases. You will almost never meet someone who minds talking about themselves. Everybody loves talking about themselves. The more you get them to talk, the more they will like you. This has been said many times before, and yet people rarely put it into practice.
You cannot be liked if you are a fake. So be mindful of your mannerisms. You have to be genuinely interested in their stories. It’s alright if you toss the details into your mental dustbin afterwards. It’s even better if you remember them. People love those who pay attention to what they say.
What about those instances when you have to express your opinions? Ask yourself a simple question: if you were a celebrity on social media with a large following, what kind of response would you give? Then give that response. Your mind will automatically process the right words. Somehow, imagining yourself as a celebrity triggers a part of your brain that knows exactly what to say. I don’t know why it works. All I know is that it works.
Be a good listener. Probe when you can. Think of yourself as a celebrity when it’s your turn to share an opinion. Crack jokes at your own expense and about the situation, never at someone else’s. It’s a skill, so practise it well. I guarantee you will rarely be disliked wherever you go.