Friends Or Trophies: What Are We Collecting?
After the advent of social networking sites, it has become a trend to collect many friends, especially from the opposite gender. The goal is to showcase your popularity. On the surface, everyone knows it’s a losing battle, yet almost everyone still wants to be popular. The paradox is amusing, if not worrisome.
For that popularity, we are willing to do almost anything, to go to extreme lengths just to prove that we are worth keeping in someone’s life. We pretend to be smarter, funnier, more attractive — someone who must not be ignored. But in the end, even if we gain it all, what’s the point? You will still feel the same pinch of loneliness you felt before going full bonkers on social networking sites.
I firmly believe you cannot be close to more than five people in your life. You can be friendly with many, but not everyone will know you with the clarity of the chosen few. We aren’t meant to be vulnerable with everyone — only with those who see us struggling, who see who we really are when we drop the mask: broken, scared, needy. And these are the same people who also recognize the best in us.
There are stories in our lives about major events — losing a love, getting a job, tasting success. And then there are stories that define us: suffering, grief, insecurities. Only the select few will witness and hear these stories within the story. You simply cannot keep up with everyone, you cannot care for everyone, and neither can they for you.
It is far better to have one true friend from a different walk of life who has seen you at your weakest and still chosen to stay, than to chase validation and likes from people you could never truly open up to. What’s the point of having people around if you cannot be honest with them? What’s the point of all the popularity in the world if you are still going to feel lonely at night?
The whole purpose of having people in your life is to feel a little less lonely. When you turn connections into trophies, you carve a path of loneliness for yourself.