Escaping the trap of Loneliness
Loneliness is a loss of connection—both with the world and with oneself. People who suffer from loneliness are often the least aware of their own identity. Who are they? Where do they come from? What do they want? Why do they want it? They have grown from a place of reaction rather than introspection. With people around them all the time, they never had to get comfortable in their own skin.
Too many people suffer from loneliness and anxiety. These are often the same people who are least aware of their biases, their issues with deeper relationships, and their expectations of others. A person who knows why they are alive cannot be lost in the quagmire of emotions. They will grieve, they will be sad, and they will miss the people they have lost, but they will know what needs to be done next.
The inner voice is the most important part of life. If you cannot talk to yourself, confront your thoughts, or meet yourself in the mirror, then you might jump at the first opportunity to be with someone—anyone. In such cases, anyone will do to get you out of your slumber.
And this is the paradox of trust.
Good relationships are built on sharing each other's vulnerability, which comes from mutual trust. Trust emanates from acceptance. You can only open up to someone who accepts you as you are. People who aren't comfortable being alone get lonely because they are unable to accept themselves. Unless you accept yourself, you cannot transform into someone better.
A person who cannot accept themselves has no one to talk to—their inner voice is silent. So they desperately need someone with whom to be vulnerable, to be loved, and to be accepted. But that requires trust between two people, and trust takes time. Patience and time then become hurdles for the lonely. They try to bypass patience and end up trusting anyone who pretends to accept them.
This creates a cycle of bad relationships. The desperate race for acceptance from others can make a person appear foolish, leading to poor decisions. Loneliness is a loop of bad decisions that make one even lonelier.
People are drawn to those who are self-aware. They can joke about themselves without sacrificing self-respect. They are hyper-aware of their biases and know how and when to open up to others. Their self-awareness prevents them from making desperate decisions.
This is the key to escaping loneliness: Be comfortable with who you are. Cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. Forgive yourself for past mistakes after addressing them. Understand your personality and your biases. A person who doesn't need anyone usually has everyone around them. It’s the cycle of good and bad decisions.