Envy And Jealousy - The Sisters Of Ruin
Envy and jealousy are often treated as synonyms, but they’re not. In fact, they reveal completely different mindsets. When we’re envious, we want to possess something we don’t have. Jealousy, on the other hand, means we’re fearful of losing something we already have — or think we have.
Lovers are jealous of their partners. Women become possessive because they fear loss. Men act irrationally when they worry someone else will steal their girlfriend. The underlying assumption is that you possess something precious that could be taken away. This jealousy keeps you on edge — it makes you act foolishly but also makes you hyperaware of threats.
We burn with envy when we see childhood friends doing better than us. We almost begin wishing them ill, hoping they’ll come down to our level. Women envy friends who seem to “have it all” — loving husbands, good jobs, beautiful families. Men envy friends who earn more or have better relationships. In both cases, we lack something we believe we deserve, and we resent others for having what we don’t.
Jealousy makes you do stupid things. Envy makes you do devious things — sometimes pure evil. That’s why religious texts warn against envy’s effects. The only antidote is self-awareness — not just knowing what you lack, but understanding who you truly are. You’ll never be as beautiful as a movie star or as wealthy as your richest friend, but you can find sufficiency in your authentic self.
Social media has escalated both feelings. It makes you question whether you got the best deal, even in relationships. Just when you think you have enough, you see a friend traveling Europe with an attractive spouse, and misery follows. Some people quit social media to avoid feeling terrible, but the problem isn’t the platform — it’s internal.
Why do you feel inadequate? Why does seeing friends succeed trigger feelings of not being good enough? Because you’ve created a mental hierarchy where you need to feel superior to at least some people. This hierarchy breeds envy.
Try genuinely celebrating your friends’ successes. Post supportive comments. Be objective about your reactions. Ask yourself what’s really bothering you. With jealousy, examine what makes you uncomfortable — do you feel inadequate, or do you doubt your partner? Either way, something needs addressing.
Both feelings reveal underlying challenges you perceive as weaknesses. You can choose to work on them systematically. Want more money? Direct your efforts toward earning it. Want love? Put yourself in places where you’ll meet good people. You can’t lie in bed scrolling Instagram all day hoping someone will fall in love with you.
Everything worthwhile requires effort, dedication, and risk. You must take chances and face potential failure and embarrassment for serendipity to work in your favor. Every time you feel envious or jealous, ask yourself one simple question: What can I do to fix this?