Embarrass Yourself On Paper
Explain one thought to yourself every day. No matter how busy you are. No matter how tough you find that activity. Pick up an idea, a thought, something that bothered you throughout the day. And write down everything you know about that thought. What did you feel. Where did you feel it. What does it all mean.
How did it actually feel? What was your expectation of that person who hurt you. Why did it hurt so much. These are important questions. A man has to live with himself after all. You cannot complain that someone hurt you. You are not a kid. If you are a man, there's literally no one coming to save you. You need to resolve your emotions on your own.
Writing has been one of the most rewarding activities of my life. Write down every single thing. Preferably on paper. Stream of consciousness writing is even more fun. You don't have to make sense. You don't have to publish it. The pressure to show it to people is what creates the problem. You are not there yet. First, you explain it to yourself. Then you explain it to people. That takes practice. And some skill too. That skill also comes from practice. It's a loop.
Explain that idea to yourself in detail. It will feel like you spoke to a dear friend. Writing lets your mind wander. Think from every angle. Add more information. It lets you detach your emotions from the problem. It lets you see it for what it is: an emotional response. The issue was merely a trigger.
Not every problem is internal. Some are genuinely external. But at least you will see them through a detached lens. That is the ultimate goal. To see your thoughts laid out in front of you. On a page. You will feel repulsed. You will want to give up. That is a good sign. It means you must not quit. Continue.
Your thoughts are embarrassing in reality. They only appear significant inside your head. You must see what they truly look like. How trivial it all is. You will also spot a path to resolution for such thoughts. The attachment to your emotions will gradually weaken. Continue this exercise for six months and you will notice a dramatic change within you.
You will feel less reactive. Your impulses will be within your control. You will recognize the moment your heart starts racing. The moment your mind starts conjuring defensive responses. You will know all of it because you have felt it. You have described this feeling on paper. It rewires your brain. Instead of feeling attached to that emotion, your mind recalls the mechanism behind it. You feel more in control.
That is the whole point of living a good life. To be in control of your mind and your thoughts. Pick up that pen and pad and go embarrass yourself. Write down what you feel. No matter how illegitimate those thoughts seem.