Don't Blame the Cigarettes
Smoking and alcohol have taken a lot of blame on social media. Yet some of the strongest friendships are built over a shared stick in a parking lot, or during long binge-drinking sessions after work. I have grown closer to people because we drank through the night and smoked our lungs out.
Almost every writer I have admired indulged in drinking and smoking. Many doctors, fully aware of the consequences, still partake in cigarettes and whisky, knowing it will eventually damage their bodies. Everyone who engages in these habits understands the cost, yet the pull remains.
Nicotine energizes you, and the shared camaraderie over a single stick is almost impossible to replicate. The bottle you share with a brother deepens the bond. In these moments, you enter a state of relaxation where people begin to open up in unexpected ways.
Your prefrontal cortex loosens its grip, and your unfiltered self surfaces. Sometimes it is ugly, sometimes beautiful. But when that vulnerability is shared and acknowledged across the table, it forges a bond that feels enduring. It is not just about shared laughter, but shared grievances. You feel lighter.
There is, however, a limit to how far you should push yourself. In moderation, you may remain intact, but the moment it shifts from recreation to compulsion, you begin to erode the very self you were meant to discover and nurture. Beyond smoking and drinking, I have never indulged in other addictive habits. Even these are reserved for specific occasions, certainly not every weekend.
I am not suggesting that you should start, nor that someone who has struggled with alcohol should abandon restraint and return to it. The point is simply that these habits receive more criticism than they deserve. Historically, they have often served as a medium through which men come together.
Philosophers have drawn inspiration to craft profound ideas, writers have produced novels, poets have composed verse, and painters have created masterpieces—often after loosening the rigidity of the self and allowing a more vulnerable, honest side to emerge.
So if you understand your limits, and if there are people you wish to grow closer to, focus on your ability to converse—and do not hesitate, if you choose, to share a few beers.