Bitterness is the story you tell yourself
Do not let the failures of your life turn you into a bitter person. Failures in life don’t happen on our own accord. There’s not much choice in the kinds of failures we get. But how we interpret these failures is always a choice. We say choice because it is entirely up to us how we look at the failure. That’s why it’s always about perspective.
Some people survive through the worst phases of their lives while others break down at the first inconvenience. The difference is internal interpretation. The story you tell yourself about the failures will determine how the failures will affect your personality.
If you consider the failure as a data point, then it’s just a blip on the radar for you. You will likely analyse the results and move on to the next attempt. But if you are someone who thinks failure means you are not good enough, then every failure will make you realise that you were right, you aren’t good enough. The latter will transform you into a person who believes that he is not good enough.
Not being good enough is a precursor to the bitterness you will harbour in your life. When your internal narrative convinces you that you aren’t good enough, the likely question you will ask yourself is why am I not good enough? There are two answers to this, but only one is likely given our brain’s preference for self-preservation. The answer will be that the world is unfair to you, that’s why you aren’t good enough.
The moment you start believing that the world is unfair to you, evidence will present itself to you. You will keep on arguing with people using that evidence that proves the world is unfair to you. This is the cleverest trick of the mind, which doubles down into turning your belief into a reality.
On the contrary, if you think failure is a data point that proved your initial understanding was incorrect, then you would work on improvising your initial assessment. This will likely improve your judgement. In your heart, you know that if you keep fixing the parts that don’t work, you will reach a point where everything works for you.
In the world, there are only these two kinds of people. But only one turns bitter about life and the world. One considers another lucky, the other considers the one as foolish. All of your happiness comes from how you interpret failures in life. Because failures are inevitable no matter what you do.
It is much better to have a vision about your life. Plan the ultimate destination or a temporary goal if you are unsure about the objective destination. Think about all the possible paths that can take you there. Then get on with those paths, ensuring you are doing enough research about those paths. And if you face failures, know that it is a mere data point. You can always choose another path.