Begging for recognition
We often find ourselves in positions where we feel we deserve more recognition. We wish someone were there to give us a pat on the back and say, “well done.” But there’s no one to do that. We feel an emptiness within and start believing that our work has no worth. Maybe that’s how the world functions. What’s the point of doing anything with perfection? Why put in so much heart?
Kids without recognition grow up bitter about the world. They develop self-doubt and think they aren’t good enough for anything. If you agree with me right now, then I’m going to disappoint you with a contrarian opinion.
Why do we even beg for recognition?
We want people to recognize our effort because we seek validation. This makes us averse to any sort of feedback. If the validation is negative, we become vindictive towards the messenger who delivered it. We become desperate for recognition when we believe we are doing something special. It’s imperative to ask ourselves whether we are doing what we are supposed to or something extraordinary.
Unless our job falls into the realm of extraordinary, we shouldn’t strive for recognition. We should strive for feedback. Feedback makes us better. Striving for recognition is like being addicted to junk food: the more you consume, the more you want to consume. You should prepare your mind to filter out the negative aspects of feedback and focus on the parts that can help you become a better person.
Validation makes us dependent on others. The power over our happiness is in someone else’s hands. Before we realize it, the loop of seeking validation makes us beggars. When you do what you are supposed to do with the highest efficiency, you have gone one level up. Move on from that and take on another project. Measure your work in terms of efficiency, not validation. Seek feedback because it means you are taking in as much input as possible. You are no longer dependent on another person. Your happiness comes from your style of delivering the work.
That is why begging for recognition is never a good idea. Seek feedback and operate at the highest efficiency. That is the key to gaining self-validation.