Be the Good Guy You Want in the World
Having decent manners can change your life. This is not hyperbole. People remember how you treat them. They remember that you showed empathy. They remember that you saw their existence and not their status. People remember how you make them feel. And once you start treating people well, you can get away with anything.
The goal isn't to get away with unspeakable things. It isn't about manipulation. It's about how much slack people will cut you once they know you're a reliable person. Be genuinely good to people. Don't treat them poorly unless you have evidence they deserve it. You have to think from curiosity, not judgment.
The distinction is crucial. We generally approach people with preexisting bias, not curiosity. Curiosity is more useful because it makes you listen carefully. You notice what brings a spark to their eyes. What bothers them. What makes them emotional. These are windows into their psyche. Curiosity tells you why a person appears the way they do. That's why some people are disliked without actually being bad. They're simply misunderstood by most.
People like to open up to someone they believe will listen without rushing to judge them. Everyone judges eventually, but the ones who wait for the full story before doing so are the ones who judge accurately. Everybody has a story to tell, and it's through these stories that you come to understand them. They will remember that you paid attention, the subtle nuances, the shifting emotions.
It isn't just about being polite, though that matters too. It's about doing favors for people. Help them out wherever you can, as long as it doesn't burden you. Go above and beyond for a few. It's fine if some turn out rotten. Most won't. People are generally good. If I had to tally it up, I've met far more decent people in my life than difficult ones. The odds clearly favor the good guys.
When you treat people decently and help them whenever possible, what do you think happens in return? They extend the same kindness back to you. They want to help you, so you in turn think well of them. They won't hesitate to be nice to you because they know they're safe with you. Most people hold back from kindness because they're afraid of getting hurt by others. So they wait for someone else to go first. They play it safe.
Build this dynamic with people and you'll earn their respect for life. If someone told you that having good manners might someday open doors for you, that you'd encounter a few bad apples but most would treat you well, and that overall you'd have a good run of it, wouldn't you take that offer? Be the good guy you wish existed in the world.